cause of death: second hand embarrassment

i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early
YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
Yesterday a guy came up to me at work was like “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
I’ll say that again.
A guy came up to me
at work
and asked “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”

Two bald eagles in air battle crash-land at airport
Dude these two eagles were fighting mid-air and got stuck. They crash landed at an airport and both survived.
How hardcore is that? Look at their faces tho.
Its like “I swear to GAWD Jerry”
friendly reminder that you don’t owe your mom kindness and love if she hasn’t shown you any, and that family members don’t automatically deserve all your respect if they treat you badly. don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about how your parents treat you.
is tobey maguire embarrassed by spiderman 2 because i think everyone else is
no because this is spiderman 3 and things just got awkward
i definitely meant 3 wow i’m such an asshole
if he did this in two i don’t think a third one would have been made
This is why he isn’t in the avengers
I don’t understand the USA, all your roads are straight and all your cities look like they were planned using Excel.
Everyone knows the only way to build a city is to wait until a bunch of tiny villages merge together over centuries and create a sprawling clusterfuck of winding roads that make no sense and have no street signs and are impossible to navigate unless you’ve lived there all your life.
I WAS IN MY SHOWER WHILE SPOTIFY WAS PLAYING AND AFTER LIKE 15 SECONDS OF SILENCE I HEAR THE AD GUY SCREAMING “HELLO THERE SPOTIFY LISTENER” AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMEONE IN MY BATHROOM AND I NEARLY FELL OVER



